Month: July 2019

The Testament of Sherlock Holmes Liveblog #1

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Super Serious Theory: The Children are Aliens

Several years ago I played about two hours of this game. I remember almost nothing about it. So Steam Roulette gave me this lovely to play. It’s immediately the most horrifying game I’ve played yet this year. The children in the opening scene are the scariest monsters I’ve ever seen in my entire life. The “lalala” singing sounds send shivers down my spine. The little boy looks as if he was ripped right out of Children of the Corn. So either they are evil demonic beings or aliens. I have no idea which.

Okay, I’ll try to give them the benefit of the doubt. But where are their parents? I’m not one for helicopter style parenting, but these kids could really use some observation as they are just. so. accident prone. Perhaps this is just the aliens getting used to their new skin suits. One cuts her finger in a drawer (luckily they are aliens so she shouldn’t get tetanus). Another stumbles over (like a drunk) to a marionette and precedes to rip it from the wall and fall down with a yell. Destruction of private property is not acceptable! My money is that they are also trespassing (also illegal, might I add…we both know that but apparently aliens don’t). These aliens need to study human mannerisms better before coming down to the planet to do their mischief.

The aliens sit down to study a human relic: a book. The leader alien apparently learned how to read English at some point in its studies. Thus the story begins…..and I can only hope the aliens never reappear.

A Deadly Sin of Reading

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Lunch break. The short hour of relaxation punctuating an otherwise chaotic day. My stomach pleasantly full of pesto panini, I decided to read with my remaining spare time. Another half hour and I’d be back in the metal jungle that is my physical chemistry lab.

So what the heck happened to my reading time? What made me give up the epicness of my favorite fictional universe to bang out some words on a screen? Well, I did a bad. Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. Please hear my confession.

I read ahead.

I know, I know, I’m a terrible person. Hear me out. The current main character of the story had just drank some extremely viscous alcohol at a bar in one of their newly conquered territories. The viscosity of alcohol should not be that high without additional ingredients inherently changing the physical chemistry of the liquid. For example, poison. Suddenly I had convinced myself that this character was about to croak. I HAD to know if my theory was right. Before I could think logically and stop myself, I had skipped three paragraphs. All for nothing. He didn’t die. Not in that moment, at least.

This is not the first time I have committed this sin. I think I do it at least once whenever I read a book in which I am invested. I just can’t take the suspense and HAVE to know what happens so I can actually relax and read instead of being worried and stressed. By doing this, I unfortunately miss out on the high intensity of the scene. The book inherently loses something that it once had: the ability to convey suspense. By following my compulsion, I deny myself something greater. Isn’t that just typical?

Going forward, I’m going to make a conscious effort to not do this any more. Does the dog die? I guess I’ll wait and find out. Does our favorite character make it up the impossibly tall cliff face to rescue the princess? Who knows. Let these questions remain a mystery until the story wills it otherwise. Relax, let go of control, and let the story carry you away. You won’t drown, I promise. Now if only I could convince myself…

The Paradox of Choice: The Curse of a Steam User

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I still remember the day I first heard of Steam. I was lamenting to my MMO buddy about the bad experience I had buying games on Amazon (this was before keys became popular). I wanted to get my hands on a copy of this little game called Skyrim. You might have heard of it. He recommended Steam, as there was currently a game sale going on at the time. I quickly downloaded the program, stepped into the colorful storefront, and fell into the bottomless pit that is a Steam Sale.

From Steam sales, to free keys from friends, to Humble Bundles, I quickly amassed a massive Steam library which has only grown over the years. Sometimes I scroll through my games list and am surprised I own a certain game. Apparently I own Mad Max? Man, I’ve really got to play that one day. But do I? No. Instead I scroll through this massive list, trying to figure out what to play and end up going back to one of my old favorites (which is currently Darkest Dungeon and No Man’s Sky). I suffer from Gamer Paradox of Choice. Analysis paralysis, as we call it in the board game world. Choice overload. When faced with 380 unplayed games, I tend to stick with something I’ve played already. Perhaps subconsciously it is because I know I’ll enjoy the tried and true games. But consciously, I’m a big proponent of gaining new experiences and trying new things. Including new games. Playing a bad game won’t have any detrimental effect on my life other than wasting my time. Yet it is a choice I cannot make. WHY?

I don’t know why I have this problem. But I decided to take a page out of the EA handbook and try some SURPRISE MECHANICS. Thanks to some googling and Redditing, I found a Steam game roulette. You just type your user name in and in a few spins of a wheel, you have a game from your library selected for you to play. And with that I began my trek deep into the dirty dredges of my Steam backlog.

Game 1: Fractal: Make Blooms Not War:
Okay. I’m going to be honest. I’m an action games sort of person. Give my character a gun or even better, a few swords. At least a flashlight. Oh come on!
Fractal is not that sort of game. It is a very relaxed puzzle game, where pleasant music and colors dance along your senses as you click spots on the screen, trying to fill out areas. There is no one impeding your way except yourself (and the increasingly difficult levels, which unfortunately cannot be cut by a sword). Needless to say, this game is not for me, but its definitely for someone. Do I regret trying it? No. Will I ever play it again? No. Time to go back to the random steam game selector.

Game 2: Medal of Honor Single Player Campaign:
I would have NEVER played this game if the random game selector hadn’t chosen it, and I would have been missing out on something fantastic. Sure, I ran into several mission breaking bugs, but everything else was fantastic. The shooting was weighty and felt great. The different mechanics in each mission prevented the game from feeling stale. The short length was perfect for someone who works and doesn’t have a massive amount of time to dedicate to gaming. The story itself was riveting. One time I actually cheered out loud when I heard the sound of a radio buzzing, I was about to be rescued out of a certain death situation. Another part of the story pulled on my heartstrings. I almost shed a tear. Almost.
I don’t know how realistic a story this is, but I did come out of the campaign with a newfound respect for our servicemen.

Steam roulette to be continued…